yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
