i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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