just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
