I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My hand turned me down
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
