She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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