I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
this hospital has no fireball
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
