I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
