i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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