His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
