I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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