Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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