dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
