Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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