No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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