you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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