You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
