I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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