What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
