I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
