I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just forgot I was standing up.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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