They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
