I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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