I want to walk on stilts...naked
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
