Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
