nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
