Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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