Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
