weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize