Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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