dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
3pm strippers are depressing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize