hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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