i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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