Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
