I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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