rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I wear drunk well.
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