it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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