My room smells like vodka and shame
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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