babies were throwing up all over the place
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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