I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
