so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
