Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
