Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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