we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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