I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
