Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Terrible idea I love it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
