you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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