I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
