She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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