That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
