I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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