Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize