He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
