she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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