I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
