If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
