Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
