oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
