Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she pinky promised me she was 18
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize