Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Soap is not a condiment
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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