He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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