It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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