I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
