Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
