So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
handjob tips. give me some.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
