I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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